Advertising newsletters on my lawn

So, you’re the marketing boss of a chain of supermarkets and you need to sell more, oh, I don’t know, washing powder. Or lard. Whatever.
And how do you decide to do this? By employing some drooling gibbon to walk down my street throwing magazines at houses. How is that helpful, exactly? Please explain, because there must be some vital point they teach at that clever marketing school you went to that I am missing. To me it’s just really, really irritating to come home and find that some moron has thrown litter all over my front garden. It wouldn’t matter so much if the paper this cack was printed on actually served for lighting a fire, but, no, it’s crap at that too.
Just so as you know, I deliberately ignore your pamphlets. They only serve to make me hate your supermarket for littering the environment, for contributing more landfill to the great wilderness that is Patagonia. Shame on you, you bare-faced hustler.
I do my shopping at the nearest available supermarket at the time I need things. I figure the money I save traveling across town because butter and toilet paper are cheaper at your boutique this week, I lose on petrol which, let’s be honest, is fucking expensive.
Perhaps if you and your fantastic marketing department moved out of the 12th century and into the digital era, you could avoid wasting cash printing pointless non-flammable newsletters, stop hiring prehensile circus animals to distribute them and invest the money you save in an online ordering and free delivery service. Now that I’d be interested in. And it wouldn’t fuck up my petunias or desecrate the landscape.